Mr. Fangs

**** 1/2
Is it vandalism or is it art? Can't it be both?
Atlanta has a reasonably active graffiti community but one image stands out from all the rest: Mr. Fangs.

While the Krog Street tunnel might be the easiest place to find him, you've seen him all over town. Usually he is in the form of a laughing ghost but sometimes he shows other emotions or brings along a leg of fried chicken or a birthday cake. If Atlanta had a mascot (Izzy doesn't count), Mr. Fangs would be it.

To the untrained eye, he might just look like a ghost but it goes deeper than that. Through both the emotional appearance and color of Mr. Fangs, a message is being sent to the world.

See a red Mr. Fangs? That means he's angry. Maybe it is because of a bunch of trees being cut down for a strip mall or maybe it is because of neglect of part of the city. Whatever the cause, you know when you see Mr. Fangs glowing red, something bad is up.

See a blue one? Well, that means Mr. Fangs creator "Totem" felt a bit guilty about putting Mr. Fang there. Check the website for more insight into the various colors of Mr. Fangs.

Speaking of Totem, though he is credited with the creation of Mr. Fangs, the ghost has taken on a life of its own. Some question if Totem is truly the creator of Mr. Fangs or just a conduit through which Mr. Fangs is able to make himself seen to the world.

Sadly Mr. Fangs appears to be dying. He isn't around as much as he use to be. Is he taking a vacation, sick, or being gentrified out of the city. Who knows? What I do know is that it is getting harder and harder to find new appearances. Perhaps Mr. Fangs actually is the soul of old Atlanta, which is slowly fading away.

Minus half a star for the vandalism aspect of Mr. Fangs. There is no way around it, the majority of the places that Mr. Fangs calls home did not invite him. There is value in the social commentary and he does do a reasonably good job of not popping up in places that would create a danger (such as covering an entire stop sign) or are in active use but nevertheless, his presence is usually a form of vandalism.

While I am not part of the crowd that romanticizes what Atlanta was in the 70s and 80s, it will be sad if there is no place for Mr. Fangs in the renewed city that is currently being created.

Phipps Plaza

** 1/2
Like virtually every other shopping mall in the US, the outside of Phipps Plaza is a complete and total disaster.  The architecture is terrible, it is surrounded by a huge moat of parking, is actively pedestrian hostile, and it does a terrible job of blending into the urban environment.

With that said, most of us have become zombified when it comes to the appearance of the outside of shopping malls.  Our brains become disconnected and only come back to life once the inside of the mall has been accessed.

The interior is nicely done, relatively speaking.  Grand staircases, hardwood everywhere, marble, and decent (though not great) use of natural light are hallmarks of this mall.

There are lots of high end stores but also a mix of "everymall" stores such as Brookstone.  Once in a while a lower end store somehow finds its way into the mix but rarely lasts. I suspect this is usually a case of a local shop owner getting too ambitious and forgetting who is their true clientele.

The food court is on the small size but manages to have a reasonable variety of cuisines.  The mall is home to several sit down restaurants including Twist, an outpost of The Grape, and Katie Couric favorite, The Tavern.  I find it weird to go to a mall for fine dining but once you're in most of the restaurants, it is easy to forget the rest of the mall is just outside the door.

The mall is kept clean and the bathrooms are nicer than the airport like bathrooms across the street at Lenox (and let's not even get into the other malls around the metro) but there are places here and there where the paint is peeling or the carpet shows wear.  Though Phipps (thankfully) attracts nowhere near the crowds that Lenox does, it is still difficult to keep everything polished all the time.  Nevertheless, presenting the mall as the ultimate in upscale is a bit of a stretch.

There are plans to add a tower to the southside of the mall parking deck, which could help tie together the mall and the rest of the city but because it is next to a hopelessly autocentric underpass, it is doubtful that it will help much.  Perhaps someday Phipps will add a Grand Arcade leading from Peachtree Street to the mall.  Until that happens, it is just another relic of our attempt at cartopia.

If you do drive, there is plenty of parking on the various levels of the parking deck that envelops the entire mall.  Phipps also has valet parking available.

For those taking MARTA, the Lenox rail station is between a five and ten minute walk, with the Buckhead station being about five more minutes away.  Do be aware that getting from the sidewalk to the mall entrance can be an adventure in dodging automobiles whose drivers see you as more points on their quest for the high score in "Pedestrian Slayer". The free BUC shuttle services Phipps and both MARTA stations should you not want to walk.

Fifth Street Bridge

****
Cartopia (n) - an imaginary place in which traffic always flows smoothly, parking is easy and close to one's destination, and automobiles have no negative impacts on the world in which they exist.

Unfortunately, Cartopia is as much of a fantasy as is Utopia.  Here in metro Atlanta, many still believe that someday we will pave over enough of the state to create Cartopia.  Luckily that belief is declining as the negative effects of our sprawling automobile centric development pattern become too large to ignore.

One small step in the return of our city to being a pedestrian friendly environment is the Fifth Street Bridge.  While this is still primarily a roadway for automobiles, it is a great improvement over the old Fifth Street bridge that it replaces.

The new bridge has bike lanes, wide sidewalks and greenery.  All of those are features that had previously been abandoned in transportation projects during our quest for Cartopia but what really sets the new Fifth Street Bridge apart is the amount of space set aside for greenery.  On both edges of the bridge are large lawns.  The sidewalk has a large trellis that when the greenery grows up on it, will provide shade for pedestrians.  The lawns also have multiple levels, the highest of which has trees, that end up creating a visual and noise barrier between the users of the bridge and the automobile sewer below.  The levels aren't so tall as to block out the skyline so you still get a nice view while the nasty parts are blocked out.

It isn't unusual to see Georgia Tech students using the green space to throw the football around or just stop and relax between destinations.  It is even used as a tailgating location on game days.  Tech's expansion across the Downtown Connector into Midtown wouldn't have worked well without the pedestrian friendly new bridge.  It creates a mostly seamless connection between the main campus and Tech Square.

Ironically, the new bridge appears to carry more automobile traffic than the old one.  The old bridge was so poor that its existence wasn't even known to many Tech students.  Now it is one of the primary gateways into campus.  As such, many people headed for Georgia Tech, be it on foot, bicycle, Tech Trolley or private automobile make use of the new bridge.

Only four stars because, well, it is still primarily an automobile roadway and could have been much better with the use of quality natural materials (we're sitting on millions of tons of granite, use some of it!) and interesting architecture.  However, relative to any other bridge that the Georgia Department of Transportation has built, it deserves ten stars.

Target - Atlantic Station

****
Since the outside is the first thing you see, let's start with the inside instead for the fun of it.

When you first walk in, you are at an elevator/escalator lobby where you can get a cart but you'd be foolish to do so since they have many more upstairs.  Once you've made your way to the second floor where all of the merchandise is located, you'll notice something strange.  All of the checkouts are located along a wall that is not the exit.  This turns out to be a good thing as it allows easy flow into the store while everyone who has checked out are channeled towards the down escalator. It appears that this will reduce conflict between people entering and leaving the store.

The merchandise selection appears to be pretty typical for Target.  They do have a grocery section.  This is not a Super Target so you won't find a full spread of groceries but there is enough here for you to be able to do your shopping and then pick up a gallon of milk and a frozen dinner on the way out without needing to stop by another store.  Given that Publix and Atlantic Station have a no-compete agreement that prohibits other grocery stores in the development, I am pleasantly surprised that Target got away with including groceries.

Of the few items I looked for, I had mixed results.

They had a wide selection of home quality hair dryers but over in the sporting goods section, the didn't have a rear light for bicycles except in a combo pack.

Over in electronics, they didn't have any Wii consoles in stock (but then again, who does?) but had plenty of Wii remotes and nunchuck controllers, which can be difficult to find.  Over in the bargain games section, the slots for Wii games was mostly empty.  There was no shortage of full priced Wii games.

On to the only clothing that I'll buy at Target: underwear.  Ok, I'm a bit picky about my underwear.  I want boxer-briefs and I want them to be real boxer-briefs, not briefs with the word boxer prepended to the name for increased sales.  As a result, I have to look at many different brands to find boxer-briefs that are truly what they claim to be.  For the life of me, I couldn't figure out the organization scheme in the underwear section.  It appeared to be completely random.  Given that this store hasn't even had its official grand opening, it couldn't be that things were disorganized due to shoppers moving things around.  Heck, there was almost no one else in the store.


Overall though, the store appeared to have the normal variety of goods you'd expect from Target.

One neat feature of this store is that beyond the checkouts is a Starbucks and a Pizza Hut Express.  Yes, most new Targets have them but the seating area is along a huge glass wall that overlooks the rest of Atlantic Station and even has a skyline view.  You're not going to get that at the Super Target in Dallas, Georgia!

On to the exterior and integration with the urban environment.  Unlike most of the shopping district of Atlantic Station, Target is built on solid ground rather than over the second largest parking deck in the US (only Mall of America has a larger parking deck).  In order to provide parking for customers but without wasting space, the area under the store is where most of the parking is located.  Due to this store on stilts design, it looks like an antarctic research base.  Much of the second level exterior is covered in what appears to be high grade corrugated metal siding.  From the entrance it works pretty good but from the side of the building and going towards the loading docks, it is too much and loses the modern industrial edge and slips into just plain old industrial.

The lot is somewhat bigger than the store.  Part of the excess space is taken up by a surface parking lot.  Quite a no-no in my book but since IKEA down the street got away with it, I guess Target can too.  The rest of the lot is taken up by a funky looking plaza.  Along the length of the building is super long bench.  Behind it are cables that they are trying to get vines to grow up to provide a green wall between the mega-bench and the parking area.  There are several other places in the plaza where cable structures have been erected to grow greenery.  The most striking feature of the plaza is what I'm calling the gossip circles.  There are maybe a dozen or so sets of three or four seats placed in circles, underneath multicolored roofs.  I have no idea who, if anyone, is going to end up sitting in this area but it sure is a welcome difference from what is normally seen in Atlanta.  Seriously, plazas aren't something we do very well in this city.  Time will tell if the Target Scandinavian Deluxe Plaza works out but kudos to them for trying something new.

If you don't want to drive, the Atlantic Station shuttle has a stop right in front of the plaza and will take you to the Arts Center rail station.  Also MARTA bus route #113 stops about a block away.

Max Lager's American Grill

** 1/2

RED ALERT! RED ALERT!

Captain: Smock, what's happening?

Smock: Captain, it appears we are entering a disruption in the space-time continuum.  Something is happening to our bridge.

Captain: It looks like we are now in a, a, pub?

Smock: Early twenty-first century to be exact.

Captain: Well, while we are here, might as well make the best of it.

Waitress: Hi, Welcome to Max Lager's.  Can I start you off with some drinks?

Captain: Yes, I'd like your finest lager and Mr. Smock will have a Shirley Temple in a sippy cup.

Smock: Please Captain, you know the sippy cup is only for use during my culture's mating ritual. Do not make me use a colorful metaphor to describe your level of disrespect.

Captain: Fine, bring it to him in a regular glass.  Also my lovely dear, bring me the fettuccine alfredo and a side of cheese sticks

Waitress: Right away sir

[A few minutes pass]

Captain: I have to tell you Smock, the food is great and the beer better than Romanian Ale

Smock: Yes Captain.  The service is also excellent

[The room is suddenly jolted]

Smock: Captain, we have encountered another rift in the space-time continuum

Captain: I don't notice anything differ... hey, what happened to my food?

Smock: It appears that your pasta is now an order of fish and chips.

Captain: Whatever, I'm hungry, fish and chips works for me.

Smock: CAPTAIN WAIT!  Sensors indicate that the fish you just ate is not fully cooked.

Captain: Smock, why does everyone suddenly have goatees?  Waitress!

Waiter: Um, dude, can I like help you or something?

Captain: Where is our waitress?

Waiter: I'm you waiter and have been all day.  Didn't you all have goatees when you came in?

Captain: {MOAN} Smock, my stomach is filled with pain

Smock: Dr. Sticks McSick to the bridge.

Sticks: [Enters the bridge/pub] What's going on here?

Smock: The Captain's food is undercooked.

Sticks: Good God man, I'm a doctor, not a cook!

Captain: I don't want you to cook this awful food, help me with my pain.

Sticks: This place looks familiar.  Captain, my medical scanner doodad that makes me totally irrelevant says you are sick from eating undercooked fish.  I know I've been to this place before.

Smock: Highly unlikely Doctor.  We are in a place named "Max Lager's" from the early twenty first century.

Sticks: Max Lager's!  Yes, I have been here before.  In my hometown of New Atlanta, it is a museum

Captain: A museum? What kind of museum?

Sticks: A Capture the Flag museum.  In the early twenty-first century a small group of brave and stunningly attractive members of society banned together to play a game called Capture the Flag.  The museum commemorates their struggles and eventual domination of the French... restaurant that wanted to stop them.

Smock: It appears we have once again gone through another rift in the...

Captain: Yeah, yeah, we know.  Hey I feel better.  And my beer tastes great.

Waitress: Looks like you enjoyed your fetticini.  Can I get you anything else?  Perhaps a dessert?

Captain: Well my attractive and lovely hostess cupcake dessert, there is something you can do for...

Sticks: What happened to everyone's goatees?

Smock: It appears that we are caught in a paradox.  A restaurant that one day has excellent food and service and the next day is bad enough to make a Clintgon ill.  Fascinating!

Captain: I don't want to be stuck here, let's pay the bill and get out of here.  No reason to hang around somewhere with a split personality, even if the women aren't green or have four arms.

Orange Julius - Peachtree Center

**
Orange Julius use to be the King of the Mall.  Back before most malls even thought of something called a "Food Court", OJ was holding court and delivering tasty smoothie beverages to the shopping masses.

Times change and now it is rare to find an Orange Julius.  Attacked on one side by the food courts full of alternatives and on the other side by the rise of the smoothie stand, it can be a bit exciting to find a surviving store.

Sadly this Orange Julius doesn't appear to be very ready for the fight.  The smoothies are made with flavored syrup, which isn't at all uncommon but using real fruit would be a way to distinguish itself from the rest of the pack.  The food isn't very good and the last time I ate there, the cashier took my money (make a note, cash is full of nastiness that gives pause even to non-germophobes like myself) and then prepared my food without so much as putting on a pair of gloves or washing up.  While I find the excessive use of plastic gloves in fast food to be wasteful, at least the hands should be washed.

Orange Julius earns its second star both for the nostalgia factor and for the fact that their signature drink is quite tasty.  Other than that, it is best to move on to other choices.

KFC - Peachtree Center

* 1/2
The Colonel does chicken right... provided you like your chicken to be as anemic as Kate Moss and as greasy as Jerry Lewis' hair.

In general KFC isn't very good but this location is worse than average. The employees aren't at all friendly and the manager seems as unhappy to be there as anyone else.  The service is slow, the food of poor quality, and kitchen and the rest of the area behind the counter doesn't look very clean.  It's not at the level that they're likely to be closed down by the county health department but certainly isn't very appetizing.

Located in one of the two food courts at the Peachtree Center Mall, you're best off checking out just about any of the other alternatives for eating here.